“People aren’t broken,” she told me. “Our job is not to fix them. It’s to hold them whole and complete.”
On this episode of On the Brink, I had the privilege of speaking with a remarkable woman whose life journey embodies resilience, reinvention, and the profound power of choosing joy. Nicki Keohohou—bestselling author, award-winning entrepreneur, global speaker, and founder of Coach School—joined me from her home in Hawaii to reflect on the experiences that shaped her, the wisdom she teaches, and the mindset shifts we all need in today’s uncertain world.
Nicki’s path wasn’t linear. She began as a teacher helping children build self-esteem and confidence. She later moved into her family’s business, then into the world of direct selling, where she discovered her love for helping people grow. That passion evolved into founding the Direct Selling Women’s Alliance and ultimately creating Coach School—programs that train leaders, educators, executives, and couples to coach through empathy, inquiry, and empowerment rather than advice-giving.
What unifies Nicki’s story is a belief that has guided her since childhood: life is abundant, people are capable, and every moment contains a choice.
Watch our Podcast here on YouTube:
The Power of Coaching: Asking Instead of Telling
Nicki admits she wasn’t a natural coach at first. Like many leaders, she began by telling people what to do. But she soon realized that the most powerful breakthroughs happen when people discover their own answers.
She teaches coaching not just to executives, but to educators, medical professionals, sales teams—and even couples—because the skill of asking empowering questions transforms how people think, communicate, and relate.
Her philosophy is simple: When people find their own solutions, they own them. And when they own them, they act.
Why We’re All Struggling Right Now
Nicki works around the world, and she sees what many of us feel: people are more anxious, overwhelmed, and uncertain than ever. The economy, politics, global tensions, and constant disruption amplify our sense of helplessness.
Her response? A model she teaches called “the bagel.”
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The outer ring—the disempowerment zone—contains everything we cannot control (other people’s opinions, world events, the economy, traffic, the past).
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The center—the empowerment zone—holds what we can control (our thoughts, our choices, our words, our actions, the meaning we assign to events).
Most people live on the outer ring. Nicki helps them move to the center.
How to Shift Your Mindset (Even in Hard Times)
Many of Nicki’s insights come from deeply personal experiences—including a devastating fall in Dubai that led to multiple surgeries, months of rehabilitation, and time spent in a nursing home. Instead of asking “Why me?” she asked: “What can I do with this situation?”
She coached the staff. She uplifted patients. She even unknowingly taught a woman through the wall who listened to every class and filled an entire notebook with lessons.
Her message is clear:
You may not choose what happens to you, but you always choose how you respond.
Key Takeaways from Nicki Keohohou
1. Happiness is a choice—and a practice.
You can always look for what’s wrong or what’s right. Your mind will believe whichever story you tell it.
2. What you feed your mind at night shapes your next day.
Avoid violent TV, tense news, or negative scrolling before bed.
Instead ask:
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What is the best thing that happened today?
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What am I grateful for?
3. Self-coaching questions can instantly shift your emotional state.
Try:
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How would I prefer to feel right now?
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What’s the opposite of this thought?
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What do I actually have control over in this moment?
4. Joy compounds when shared.
A smile, a kind comment, or a small gesture changes not just someone else’s day—it elevates your own.
5. Simplicity reduces stress.
Choose calm over drama. Choose presence over pressure. Choose perspective over frustration.
Actionable Advice You Can Use Today
1. Start your morning with intention.
Ask:
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What am I excited about today?
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Whose life can I make better today?
2. Create an accomplishment list—not a to-do list.
- Shift from obligation to opportunity.
3. Practice the “bagel model.”
Whenever stress rises, pause and ask:
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Is this in the empowerment zone? Or the disempowerment zone?
If you can’t control it—redirect your energy.
4. Adopt the “rain mindset.”
- Instead of “Ugh, it’s raining,” try:
“The rain is feeding my flowers.”
Reframe, and your brain will follow.
5. Give gratitude away freely.
- Say thank you. Compliment someone. Share something small.
Science tells us that gratitude boosts the giver’s happiness even more than the receiver’s.
Final Thoughts
Nicki’s story is a radiant reminder that your reality is shaped by the narrative you choose. You can choose joy. You can choose possibility. You can choose to smile at strangers and uplift the people around you. And you can choose to rewrite your story—every morning and every night.
As she told me, “Bring joy and give joy. It doesn’t cost anything.”
If you’d like to learn more or reach Nicki directly, you can find her at:
Nicki@coachschool.com or call (800) 856-1662 (Hawaii time!).
Connect with me:
Listen + Subscribe:
Available wherever you get your podcasts—Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, YouTube, and more. If you enjoyed this episode, leave a review and share with someone navigating their own leadership journey.
From Observation to Innovation,
CEO | Corporate Anthropologist | Author
Simonassociates.net
Info@simonassociates.net
@simonandi
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Andi Simon 00:00:02 Welcome to On the Brink with Andy Simon. I’m so glad you’ve joined us today. As you know, I’m Andy, and my job is to help you get off the break. And I find wonderful people who want to do the same thing for you. Our job is to help you see, feel, and think in new ways, a little like an anthropologist, so that you can understand what you’re doing now, other ways you can do things. The challenges of change. Your brain hates me sometimes, but our job is to make it easy for you to see other people and their stories and understand what they have journey through, and why their life is so exciting for them and for you. So today I have a wonderful woman from Hawaii, Nikki Kojo, who has been with me for a little while. She was in our book and Women Mean Business, and she has a wonderful story to tell you. She began her career as a teacher and has been an entrepreneur most of her life. She’s built successful businesses and held executive positions in the U.S. and internationally.
Andi Simon 00:01:06 Nikki is an impressive woman. She has spoken at conventions and conferences around the world and consulted to hundreds of companies, both in the US and internationally. Nikki is a certified business coach through the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches. She certified in Emotional Intelligence and Behavioral Intelligence and a bestselling author and international speaker and has received numerous awards such as the top 30 Female Entrepreneurs in America. Wow. National advocate of the year for Working Mothers. Double. Wow. Nikki, thank you for joining me today.
Nicki Keohohou 00:01:41 Well, thank you for having me, Andy.
Andi Simon 00:01:43 It’s really such a privilege and a pleasure to introduce you to the audience because you have a marvelous career. You’ve been extremely successful. Yes. You are in Hawaii, and it’s beautiful there. And your grapefruits are really big and your pomegranates are growing. But tell the audience about your own journey. Who is Nicky and where are you now? In your own journey? Because it’s an important time in your passage, isn’t it? Please?
Nicki Keohohou 00:02:06 It sure is. You know, it’s interesting because I came from a big family, and I didn’t realize that, you know, as kids, we were we weren’t wealthy people, but we never knew we weren’t.
Nicki Keohohou 00:02:21 We were taught about abundance from a very young age. So. And we could do anything we wanted to do. My dad was an entrepreneur, and my mom worked with him. And they just they worked they and we were taught about work and work ethic. But it was not just, you know, you have to work to be successful. You’ve got to work and love what you’re doing. Enjoying life at the same time. So I decided I was going to be a teacher and, and I loved that. I was so good at it. And I could build self-esteem in kids and, and I really wanted that. And then I realized there was, I can’t make money. There’s not enough money in that to do the things that we wanted to do in our life. And both my husband and I were teachers, and so we started to work in the family business and got some really good experience in the family business and learned a lot there. And then I got started in the direct selling field, and I loved that too, because I could teach and I could support people.
Nicki Keohohou 00:03:22 And so that was kind of a long journey. And I did consult work in the direct selling space. And, and I started an association called the Direct Selling Women’s Alliance, and have done that for 25 years and, started a coach school in there because coaching was necessary within the direct selling space, as it is within all careers. And I fell in love with that. So I decided that was where I was going to go in my, later years in life.
Andi Simon 00:03:53 But it was not a straight line. And you didn’t plan it from the beginning?
Nicki Keohohou 00:03:58 No. I think the road to success has a lot of turns and bumps and things that happen along the way, but you keep focused on what you want out of life, what you can give and how you can contribute. And you just keep going. And that’s what I’ve done.
Andi Simon 00:04:15 But now you’re looking at the next phase or stage. And it’s a very interesting, exciting expansion of the coaching that you did for the DSW. And I’m curious, because I’m a coach, I’m also a consultant, and sometimes I like consulting a little better than coaching.
Andi Simon 00:04:34 They’re different. But talk about the kind of coaching that you have developed and the way in which you help people address the issues that they are facing, change, perhaps grow. How do you approach it?
Nicki Keohohou 00:04:50 What I’ve what I’ve discovered since I’ve learned about coaching. And by the way, I was not a good coach when I started. I was the one that wanted to tell them what to do, when to do, and how to do it. You’re done.
Andi Simon 00:05:00 My problem? The consultant comes through. I’ll tell you what to do when.
Multiple Speakers 00:05:03 That’s what I’m supposed to do.
Nicki Keohohou 00:05:05 I write and then I read. I really discovered that when people find their own answers, they’re much more apt to take it and do something with it. So I loved working with all direct sellers, but I realized executive coaching is really fun because sometimes when you’re at the top of a company, where do you go? There’s no place to go. And having someone that you can run things by that isn’t going to tell you if it’s right or wrong, but it’s going to support you to figure it out, is a good thing.
Nicki Keohohou 00:05:36 So I started a coach excellent school for educators because I was a teacher, and I realized that teachers, if we would ask more questions instead of just give information, we empower the brain of those students, and they’re more engaged. So, coach, excellent school for educators. Coach. Excellent school for sales and service. Coach. Excellent school for ministry leaders. Coach. School for medical field. There’s just so many different places we could go with it. So we started these at the vertical markets and couples. We have one for couples. And you know I’ve been blessed I didn’t I didn’t even say that, but I, I just had my 50th wedding anniversary last summer. And it was a beautiful celebration of our lives. And I think the reason that we have made it for 51 years now is that I figured it out that so I’m a strong woman. Telling my husband what to do is not the answer.
Multiple Speakers 00:06:41 Guys. You are.
Nicki Keohohou 00:06:45 Small things. It just takes a while. But once you get it, I got it.
Andi Simon 00:06:49 But on the.
Multiple Speakers 00:06:50 Same.
Andi Simon 00:06:51 Path. You’ve also discovered for yourself that you’ve got a skill, regardless of that vertical, to help people do something really important. And I’ve often found when I’m working with either a consulting or a coaching client, that my ideas aren’t worth anything if they don’t embrace them fully visualize them, understand how to implement them. How do you do that?
Nicki Keohohou 00:07:16 It is through the art of asking questions that empower that person to figure it out for themselves. It’s a method of not trying to fix people. People aren’t broken. We need to hold people as whole and complete. Yes. Our job is not to fix them and they can figure it out for themselves. So it’s really empowering people to think for themselves instead of just waiting for someone to tell them what to do. We, if we did that with children. Think how much more capable they would be.
Multiple Speakers 00:07:51 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:07:53 So I’m good at getting people to think and have to figure things out and understand consequences of these different choices.
Andi Simon 00:08:05 So. And you do it, I suspect, with a lot of questions. Few answers.
Nicki Keohohou 00:08:10 You know we don’t give a lot of answers. I have some clients that are mentor coaching clients that they really don’t have the experience to, to figure certain things out. So I do some mentoring and then along with the coaching. But I really primarily stay in coaching because it, it’s so much more powerful for people to learn and discover and see the world in a different way.
Multiple Speakers 00:08:38 Yes.
Andi Simon 00:08:38 And I bet when they have that epiphany, you can see their brain going, swish.
Multiple Speakers 00:08:44 Right.
Nicki Keohohou 00:08:45 So true. You know, one night I was in Columbia, South America, and I had a I don’t speak Spanish. I know, Daniel, but that’s about it. And so I had an interpreter this whole time, but it was like 1:00, 2:00, 3:00 in the morning. My husband was downstairs and had our books and things down there, and he was watching, and he was looking at the people I was coaching, and he saw my back was to him and he saw their face.
Nicki Keohohou 00:09:13 He saw the light bulb go off, or he saw the tears come down and he’s thinking, oh man, I’m, she’s going to be exhausted. She has to be back down here at seven in the morning. This is not good. I need to, you know, tell her we need to stop. But there was still a long line. Then he went around the other side and he was looking at me and he said, Nick, I saw when they had a breakthrough. I saw what that did for you.
Multiple Speakers 00:09:40 Yes, I saw.
Nicki Keohohou 00:09:41 You light up. I saw that joy in you. You were being filled. At the same time they were. So if you’re doing coaching, I believe the right way. It isn’t hard. It isn’t stressful. It isn’t, you know, annoying. It really is very fulfilling.
Multiple Speakers 00:10:00 Yes.
Andi Simon 00:10:00 And it is a collaboration. It is in someone who is wise and someone who needs wisdom. It’s a way of enabling both of you to rise above whatever the discussion or challenges are at the moment.
Andi Simon 00:10:17 And humans are pretty challenged, aren’t they?
Nicki Keohohou 00:10:20 Yes, more so today than probably ever I’ve known in my lifetime.
Andi Simon 00:10:24 Well, I was going to ask you that question. Can you elaborate a little more? Because I find that the complexity of organizations today, because of, you know, humans hate uncertainty and they disruption and the uncertainty is creating a lot of, folks who are mobilized. It’s the ostrich putting the head in the ground. Better. I don’t do anything. Then do something. That’s the wrong thing to do. I don’t know.
Multiple Speakers 00:10:49 What to do.
Andi Simon 00:10:49 Are you finding the same? And how do we manage that?
Nicki Keohohou 00:10:52 I am fine. I just had a conversation this morning with a lady that was feeling that way. And I think with our government, with our, you know, the economy, there’s a lot of things, not just in America. It’s around the world where people feel that their life is out of control. They have no control over their life. Right. And I think if people would focus on what they do have control over, everything would be a lot easier.
Nicki Keohohou 00:11:23 And I think our thoughts a lot of worrying. You know, my grandma used to say worrying is like being in a rocking chair. Iraq and Iraq and you’re in the same place. When you quit, you go nowhere. And I thought, wow, that was a pretty profound statement.
Multiple Speakers 00:11:40 It’s true. Through because people.
Nicki Keohohou 00:11:42 Worry and their thoughts go to worry. So that affects their ability to think beyond that situation. So a little technique for people is when their thoughts aren’t serving them right at that moment. How would I prefer to feel right now is a great self-coaching question. What’s the opposite of that? What is in my control that I can do something about? Right now it’s up to us to shift that thinking to something that will serve us and other people. Because when we’re down in the dumps, we’re feeling helpless. We’re feeling like there’s nothing that we can do about this situation. How can we serve other people? There’s not enough energy.
Andi Simon 00:12:27 Well, and it is contagious because if you feel anxious your family does.
Andi Simon 00:12:32 People in the workplace do you don’t work out. You don’t take care of yourself. Life isn’t what it’s supposed to be, but it’s interesting. Marissa Pierce is a psychiatrist in England who you may be familiar with, whose work I love to share. She has a book out called change. Her story changed her life, but in her TEDx talk, she talks about the fact that your mind does exactly what it thinks you wanted to do.
Multiple Speakers 00:12:56 Yes.
Andi Simon 00:12:57 And so if your mind is thinking that things are fragile and dysfunctional and there’s no certainty, it will be exactly what you’re telling it. That story is your story. There’s no reality. It’s just your illusion of it. If you in turn tell it, it’ll be fine. I’m fine. I tell people, they say, how are you? I say, I’m happy. It’s a very interesting word because I can’t change anything except how I feel. And a happiness is how I am. Am I happy with what’s going on? No, but I’m happy.
Andi Simon 00:13:30 And I’m.
Multiple Speakers 00:13:31 Going.
Andi Simon 00:13:31 To stay in that zone where every day I wake up, it’s a gift. What can I do for kindness? For others? How can I make today a value somehow of what I can control? So I agree with you that this is a state of mind right now, that people have to really come to terms with the fact of what you can control, and your feelings become extraordinarily powerful. Because when you feel happy, everything is.
Multiple Speakers 00:14:01 Very cool.
Andi Simon 00:14:02 Even if it isn’t really cool, right? It’s only what I can have. So now I do have some particular ways that you help them come to terms with the insecurity or uncertainties or dysfunctions, or is it always in that conversation with them as I discover it? Help me.
Nicki Keohohou 00:14:20 There’s no little model that I use. I think people learn with models and metaphors and one model. This one is a bagel. It’s a very healthy bagel. It’s gluten free bagel because people would say it was a donut and they’d say, well, I want sprinkles.
Nicki Keohohou 00:14:36 I want chocolate. My brain would go.
Multiple Speakers 00:14:37 All over them. So I made it a healthy bagel.
Nicki Keohohou 00:14:40 So here’s this bagel with the hole in the center. And I’d say there’s a disempowerment zone in our lives, and there is an empowerment zone in our lives. The disempowerment zone is what’s on the bagel. All the things we have no control over. We’re focused on everything we have no control over. Maybe it’s the economy, maybe it’s taxes, maybe it’s traffic, maybe it’s, you know, there can be a lot of different things, but we have no control over those things. And what’s in the center of this bagel is the empowerment zone. That’s what we have control over. The biggest thing we have no control over is what other people think or say. Or do. We have zero control over that? We may think we have control, but we don’t. So in the empowerment zone, what do we have control over? What we think, what we say, what we do, how we choose to show up in the world.
Multiple Speakers 00:15:40 Yep.
Nicki Keohohou 00:15:41 And that’s also where faith is, is in that empowerment zone. As a as a belief of certainty of possibilities. So I think when people are mindful of what do I really have control over? If I have no control over this situation, then what can I do that I do have control over? You know, I was speaking in Thailand and I’d never been on a little tuk tuk. You know, those little things. My husband and I are, are tall people, so we thought we’d better not do a little manual one. We’ll give the guy a coronary. So we went on a on a little, little moped one. And they drive you and you’re sitting in that and you see the world. It’s beautiful. And you’re driving down the street and all of a sudden you hear, you know, to toot and somebody will go around and but there’s nobody.
Multiple Speakers 00:16:29 You know, yelling.
Nicki Keohohou 00:16:30 Profanity or giving your number one signal. Are any of those things while we’re going down the road? They’re all calm, and it’s mom and dad, three kids in the groceries and an umbrella on a on a little scooter, and nobody’s moving.
Multiple Speakers 00:16:45 And I said to.
Nicki Keohohou 00:16:46 The guy, the driver, I said, how.
Multiple Speakers 00:16:48 Do.
Nicki Keohohou 00:16:48 These people go through all this traffic? And they’re not mad. They’re all happy.
Multiple Speakers 00:16:55 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:16:56 And he said, you turned around and looked at me like I was crazy. And he goes, madam, we know if we go out, there will be traffic.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:06 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:17:07 They don’t want to be in traffic, we don’t go out.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:11 And what a.
Andi Simon 00:17:11 Wisdom.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:12 For us. And I thought, simple, pick.
Nicki Keohohou 00:17:16 A different time to go instead of being all mad because there’s traffic. It’s a way of thinking.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:24 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:17:25 It’s kind of like simplifying your life.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:27 Yeah.
Nicki Keohohou 00:17:28 I love to live a simple life. I don’t need a lot of drama. I live in a no drama zone. I don’t want to have a lot of drama around me. And the simple things. I look out my window and I see.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:41 My.
Nicki Keohohou 00:17:41 Big old bunch of bananas out there and it makes me happy.
Multiple Speakers 00:17:45 Think you can.
Nicki Keohohou 00:17:46 Choose the way you see the world and things happen to us? Yes, but how we deal with what happens to us is what really matters. I got one other story that I think is an important one. And, you know, I’d had a back injury. I was speaking in Dubai and I fell down 23 stairs and really injured my back and got through that. And then I had to go in and do a hip surgery because of my back problem. So I had my hip replaced and that night my femur broke. So it slipped from my hip down to my knee all the way down, go back into the hospital and they have to redo my whole well, I had to go into a nursing home. And, you know, you think of a nursing home and you think, oh, it’s a bunch of old people, you know, but there are people in there. There is a 21-year-old man that had had a stroke that was in there trying to rehab.
Nicki Keohohou 00:18:36 Anyway, I thought, how can I make the most of this experience?
Multiple Speakers 00:18:42 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:18:42 What can I do while I’m here to, to grow and to refurbish, re renew myself. So I really practiced my self-coaching and I thought, well, I’m with these nurses, I can teach them things that they maybe haven’t been taught in nurses training, like a question to ask instead of how are you feeling? Because when they ask that, people say, oh, I feel sick, I feel blah, blah blah. What’s the best thing that’s happening for you today?
Multiple Speakers 00:19:14 Yes, the.
Nicki Keohohou 00:19:15 Best thought that you had today. Anyway, so I was working with the nurses and things, and then as I got better, I finally could get into a wheelchair. So I was able to teach a coach school downstairs. They gave me a meeting room and I had on my little shorts, but I had a jacket on and nobody knew where I was. I didn’t say.
Multiple Speakers 00:19:32 Anything.
Nicki Keohohou 00:19:33 I’m teaching.
Multiple Speakers 00:19:33 My school and.
Nicki Keohohou 00:19:34 At the end of last class, this lady comes and knocks on the door and she goes, I want to show you something. She had a notebook this thick and she goes, this is what I’ve learned through the wall. I can’t imagine if I was really on the zoom with.
Multiple Speakers 00:19:49 Came and finished the course.
Nicki Keohohou 00:19:51 But I thought, people are hungry to learn. They’re hungry to learn how to control their thinking, how to have a better life, how to not be a victim. You know, I noticed in that nursing home there were a lot of victims that were angry.
Multiple Speakers 00:20:11 Why?
Nicki Keohohou 00:20:12 The question was, why did this have to happen to me?
Multiple Speakers 00:20:15 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:20:16 Ask yourself that question. You get an answer that isn’t going to serve you.
Multiple Speakers 00:20:20 Yeah.
Nicki Keohohou 00:20:21 What can I do now with this situation to make the most of it? I learned about firsthand how powerful that was and how I could impact other people. Yeah, and it was a beautiful experience.
Andi Simon 00:20:37 Well, and you took lemons and made them into lemonade.
Andi Simon 00:20:39 Literally and figuratively. But you did it. also aware that as you were doing this, the people who you were sharing them with were changing also. Right. And so you left behind your legacy. Was that a whole lot of nurses learned that their job is different than what they thought it was. They could easily bring joy to the folks who were there. They can turn them from being angry and wondering why this happened to me, and to what wonderful things happened today. And how are you getting stronger and better at it? A day at a time. Small wins for the moment. It’s a mindset. But isn’t it interesting how foreign that is to so many people that they need you to begin to teach them about how to live happy?
Multiple Speakers 00:21:24 Wow. Wow.
Nicki Keohohou 00:21:26 Yeah. And it’s a choice. It’s. Happiness is a choice. You know, my mom used to say when I was a kid, she was a very happy person. But you know, I was always smiling, I was happy I had a good life, I was.
Nicki Keohohou 00:21:41 I had nothing to complain about. And but then as I got older, she would say, Nicky, you always see the good in people. Sometimes you’re going to get that, that knocked off your shoulder because people will take advantage of you. I never wanted to see people as bad or.
Multiple Speakers 00:22:00 As a.
Nicki Keohohou 00:22:01 As something that they were going to do something to her. I never wanted to see people like that. I learned to use the emotional and the logical side of my brain. So I was, I was I saw good in people. I also knew that they could slip.
Multiple Speakers 00:22:17 Yes, I.
Nicki Keohohou 00:22:19 Learned from people in a different way as I got older.
Andi Simon 00:22:22 It’s so interesting listening to you. I was at a wonderful affair this past week, and, it had a lot of bumps to it. It didn’t work out quite as smoothly as you might have thought. And I was on the bus coming back to the hotel and, and somebody said to me, that was awful. And I said, no, it was lovely.
Andi Simon 00:22:42 She said, you’re always so positive. And I said, okay. Then we got back to the hotel and I leaned over and I said, well, I guess I could tell you it was awful, but I’d rather tell you it was a lovely. And she said, okay, so you’re going to stay positive. I said, what’s the difference? It was what it was. And they control what they couldn’t control. And it didn’t work out exactly as intended. But God, I’m happy. And that’s.
Multiple Speakers 00:23:07 All that.
Andi Simon 00:23:07 Matters. And they.
Multiple Speakers 00:23:08 Are being positive.
Andi Simon 00:23:11 Because what’s the point of being negative? I couldn’t fix anything and they couldn’t either. And so have a good time, even if it’s not a perfect time. Right.
Nicki Keohohou 00:23:19 Well, that’s exactly it. And I think that we can be ambassadors for that in our world. Just like walking down the street and smiling at people.
Multiple Speakers 00:23:29 And putting in ages.
Nicki Keohohou 00:23:32 Yeah. Just noticing others. You may be the only one that saw that person that day.
Multiple Speakers 00:23:39 That made them.
Nicki Keohohou 00:23:40 Feel important or special. I, I, I guess it’s the gift that we can give. And it doesn’t cost us anything.
Andi Simon 00:23:48 No. And it keeps giving. And quite frankly, we know that gratitude when we give gratitude. Our hormones rise. We say thank you. It’s not just the receiver of it. It’s the giver of it. So the smile, like the smile on your face, brings joy to everyone who’s watching us. Because you’re happy. And they should be too. But there is something I want to emphasize a little bit, and that is you and I are talking about choosing the reality we want to live. And I often as I’m working with either coaching client or my Leadership Academy folks. I emphasize for them that there is no reality. It’s an illusion in our mind’s eye. And now the question is which one do you want? Because you can make up any of them, bad or good, happy, or sad. It’s all in your control. How would your mind like to work? Because once you get past the this is the way the world is, it is.
Andi Simon 00:24:43 It’s always been. It’s not particularly.
Multiple Speakers 00:24:45 New.
Andi Simon 00:24:45 And it’s always been more treacherous or less. You’re actually living in a pretty darn good time. And even if it’s got some ripples in it. So now the illusion or the reality that you choose is going to be the one that’s in your hands and enjoy it and begin to make it something special that you can share. Bring your family together. Bring your friends together. Find people who can give you the smile that’s on Nikki’s face. Am I right, Nikki?
Multiple Speakers 00:25:11 Yes, yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:25:13 Bring joy and give joy.
Multiple Speakers 00:25:16 Yeah.
Nicki Keohohou 00:25:17 Yeah, I It’s not that much of an effort. You know, people just sat back and thought about it, you know? I guess. And I don’t know if it was when I was in that nursing home, I saw so many sad people and people that were angry and yelling and all that stuff. And I thought, you know, you can choose something different.
Multiple Speakers 00:25:37 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:25:38 I had a roommate in there. Mrs. Wu, and Mrs. Wu didn’t ever say a word, but she never had one person call her or visitors.
Nicki Keohohou 00:25:45 She didn’t have one card. She didn’t have one bouquet of flowers. She didn’t have anything. So, I mean, it was kind of like she was a forgotten soul. And the first bouquet of flowers that I got, I put between our two. There’s a curtain I put in between our two rooms because I wanted her to see them. And I said, like I said, I hope you enjoy these flowers. They’re for both of us. And that was the first time I ever saw her smile.
Andi Simon 00:26:07 Oh, my.
Nicki Keohohou 00:26:08 And she smiled and I thought. And then when she left and was wheeling out for lunch, she looked at me again and she just smiled and let my small.
Multiple Speakers 00:26:18 Things.
Nicki Keohohou 00:26:19 Make a big difference to others.
Andi Simon 00:26:21 And we’re all the same. Just a little gift, a smile, some flowers to share, a moment of giving is so much more powerful than getting or keeping. And these become key values for us. If we’re going to live happy lives, we need some core values that say, better to give than receive.
Andi Simon 00:26:41 Better to smile than to be sad. It’s all in my hands. Let’s make life a happy one for others. Joy and I don’t know. It makes it sound simple. And I don’t know why. It’s easy not to. Does it take more work to be happy? I don’t know, do you think it takes more work to be happy? I don’t think so. You just need to be intentional about it and understand that what you give is important. It multiplies.
Nicki Keohohou 00:27:04 It’s just like when you get up in the morning and say, oh, it’s raining. You know if you look up and say, oh, I’m so happy for this.
Multiple Speakers 00:27:11 Rain, for the flowers.
Nicki Keohohou 00:27:14 And everything to grow. And, you know, those questions that you ask yourself in the morning. What do I have to do today? What’s on my to do list versus. What’s on my accomplishment list today? What do I get to do?
Multiple Speakers 00:27:27 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:27:28 So what am I most excited about for today? What am I looking forward to today? Whose life could I make a difference in today? There are a million questions that you could ask yourself that will serve you in lots of other people.
Nicki Keohohou 00:27:41 It’s retraining our brain.
Multiple Speakers 00:27:43 To.
Nicki Keohohou 00:27:44 Think that way.
Multiple Speakers 00:27:45 I love that.
Andi Simon 00:27:47 You actually just gave us the 3 or 4 things that you don’t want are listeners to forget. We’re about ready to wrap up. And as I’m watching our time, I’m saying this has been a for us, you and I, profound conversation about things that we know matter and matter to our listeners and to the people we work with. whether it’s a smile, whether it’s waking up in the morning and seeing positive or not going to an event and seeing how wonderful it was, even if it wasn’t perfect. Beginning to put a spin. And it’s not. It’s not saccharine. It’s not fake. It’s true. And there’s nothing that says it’s not the truth. It’s real, and it’s something that we can enjoy. You want to emphasize a couple of things that you want the listeners to remember and do today.
Nicki Keohohou 00:28:33 I believe that being happy and joy is a choice, and in living in joy, I can look for everything that’s wrong around me.
Nicki Keohohou 00:28:43 Or I can see what’s right around me that that’s my choice. I can coach myself. And I didn’t mention this, but that night coaching is the most important. What you put into your brain the last 15 minutes of every day, or the last 45 minutes of every day is critical to your success following day. So instead of watching rape and murder on TV, ask yourself, what was the best thing that happened in my life today? You know, what am I most grateful for in my life today? So you’ve got morning and afternoon questions throughout the day. Coach yourself.
Multiple Speakers 00:29:16 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:29:16 Greater success. Manage our thoughts. And if you catch yourself with a negative thought that’s coming up, what’s the opposite of that? How would I prefer to feel right now?
Multiple Speakers 00:29:27 Yes.
Nicki Keohohou 00:29:28 You get to take your life and make decisions so that you can show up the best you can be. I have 11 grandchildren and three great grandchildren.
Multiple Speakers 00:29:40 Wow.
Nicki Keohohou 00:29:41 I want to be an influence in their life. I want them to see that.
Nicki Keohohou 00:29:46 Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you can’t live a full life.
Multiple Speakers 00:29:53 And that.
Nicki Keohohou 00:29:53 Grateful life.
Multiple Speakers 00:29:55 Yes.
Andi Simon 00:29:56 You know, I’ve just finished a draft of a book on rethinking retirement. And this is not for today’s conversation, but we will come back and talk about it again. To your point, because my husband and I refuse to retire. And when we go on trips, people say, well, you’re still working. I said. Isn’t that wonderful? Oh, and so many people hated what they worked at, but don’t really like being without work. It’s a very interesting time, to your point. Growing old. We’re not old, we’re just wiser. And we have many years to enjoy and share. And it is such a privilege and a pleasure to have interviewed you today. I can’t tell you what joy you’ve given me. Thank you.
Nicki Keohohou 00:30:39 Thank you for having me.
Andi Simon 00:30:41 If they want to reach you, Nicky, where should they reach you? What’s the best place to get Ahold of you?
Nicki Keohohou 00:30:46 Nicky and I CKD at coach school.
Nicki Keohohou 00:30:53 Nicky at coach school. And you can call me too. And it’s a Hawaii number (800) 856-1660 two. Just don’t call me at 5:00 in the morning.
Multiple Speakers 00:31:03 You know we’re out of time.
Andi Simon 00:31:07 But I want to emphasize the Nicky’s wisdom to you. And that is what you go to sleep with at night should give you peaceful sleep. And if you’re, watching stuff that’s fully aggressive, I can’t watch TV and I find reading a good book, playing a game, doing something quiet, is a wonderful way to end the day. And I also like to put my list together about what I have accomplished today and what I’m going to do tomorrow. All on the positive side, control your positivity. It’s in your hands. Why not? And don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise and don’t listen to the news. But on that note, I want to thank everyone for coming for On the Brink with Andy Simon. My job is to bring you wonderful people like Nicky Kehoe, who’s going to help you see, feel, and think in new ways so that you can get off the brink.
Andi Simon 00:31:56 It’s your time to take charge of you and remember, the story you share is your reality. Nobody else can control it. You want to be happy, be happy. You don’t want to be. I’m sorry. Let’s try and tell that story over again, because it’s your turn to take control of what you can. My books are all on Amazon. Nikki, you didn’t mention your book. Do you have a book? I think you do.
Nicki Keohohou 00:32:19 I have several books. mostly related to direct selling because that’s where I really came from. Build a big, more, build a big. But they can reach out to me and I can give them a list of other things, too. So thank you so much for inviting me and for letting me share with your audience.
Andi Simon 00:32:37 It’s a pleasure and a privilege, and I enjoyed it as well. So for everybody, have a great day. Remember. Our thoughts are about taking your observations and Turning them into innovations. This is a time of change. Turn them all into something positive and you’re seeing stuff instead of fighting it.
Andi Simon 00:32:52 Figure out what can I do with this. Can add value innovatively and really do something innovatively that could make change happen for people. It’s a great time for all of us. I’m going to say goodbye now. Have a great one. Bye.
